If You Were
by Tianimalz
Summary: Random funny Ter/X friend one-shot. Rated for the usage of "hell" in the dialog of fighting teenagers, and mention to sexual content magazines and ... gays. LOL.... I warned you.


BEWARE

IT'S ANOTHER STUPID HUMOR ONE-SHOT

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**"If You Were.."**

With a loud and angry sigh, the teenage boy stared down at his test preparation. Stupid high school. He only had a year or so left though, all he had to do until fateful Graduation day, was concentrate on these worthless questions and information packets until then.

Ask him about estimating the time it would take to sky dive from the Jump City skyline tower, to a below corporation building on a day with wind blowing 23 miles per hour. Or ask him the code to hack into the restricted areas in government information access. _But_ for the dear life of God, do not ask him to do complex algebra. In fact, don't even dare ask him to do regular algebra, geometry or anything that required writing numbers on paper. His mind shut down.

Letting out a loud groan, Red X slammed his head against the desk he was sitting at. His identity only had this final year; school took up too much day time. There was a reason he only worked as Red X at night, luckily Murakani High school for some reason made a great cover during the day. Even if he did sleep through most classes; X bragged that he was smart enough to get away with it. Even though rumors that the thief 'Red X' had broken into the room with all the answer sheets, was going through the school.

Unfortunately, the tests had been moved, and he hadn't had time to go and find them. Just his luck, right? Stupid author. One problem that was hard to get around sometimes was making it out past his adoptive parents, though their work shifts where different from each other, so that at least made balancing it all out a little easier-

"Hey, X!!" A voice cried, as his door was thrown open, Red X snarled under his voice, moving his head to look to the side where- though his vision was blocked by a dresser next to his desk- his door was now open. His brown wavy hair gathered around his head, then fell in his eyes as he stared at his unwanted company.

"I'm busy, go away."

"Ooo," Terra looked towards him. Yeah, apparently one of the Titan brats went to the same school, and he had been stupid, and curious enough to ask. Eventually, his self-righteousness self image had finally been his weak spot and he had bragged what he could do, then in a few days who he was. Terra's response had been interesting… 'So can I borrow the answer sheets?' she had asked. Some stupid friendship had formed that day, but right now he wished she'd just go away.

"Test study, eh?" Terra sided next to him, her hands behind her back as her hands swung behind her. She was humming something, why did she have to be so peppy when he was in mental pain?!

"Yeah," Red X sat up, his black T-shirt folding around his tight stomach as he looked up towards her, an annoyed look crossing his face. "So go away."

"Ooh," Terra rolled her eyes, skipping a few steps away before throwing herself on his bed that laid in the middle of his room with the headboard against the pale green wall. "I'm just bored, so I'm gonna hang out here."

"No you're not, get out!" He cried. "Who let you in my house anyways?!"

"You're parents. They like me," Terra shot him a maniacal grin, that showed she wasn't as innocent as she often tried to play. "I make friends in the right departments, so I got full access baby. So after cleaning out the snack cabinet, I decided to see what was up with you, grumpy pants."

Red X's mouth hung open. "You ate all my snacks?!"

"Gummy bears, cheese crackers, nachos, ohh…. And I stole the burrito from the freezer."

"YOU ATE _MY _BURRITO?!"

"Yeah, used the last hot sauce on it."

"What the hell are you?! A pitiless stomach?!"

"Yeah." Terra nodded, a small and serious look on her face as she sighed then fell backwards on his bed, making the pillows bounce then tumble off the side as his blankets where crumpled.

Sighing, Red X turned back to his homework, the open book. He felt his eye twitch, and his fingers tap against the wooden desk in annoyance. "At least go and make yourself useful, go get me a Pepsi."

"Uhm…" The geomancer stared up at the ceiling before shifting her eyes to X for a moment as he turned around to look at her, his face falling.

"You drank my last Pepsi?!"

"Well…"

"What_ didn't_ you take?!"

"Your moms fried green beans."

"Thanks… thanks a lot." Red X snorted.

Shrugging, the blond hummed a 'you're welcome' before letting out a loud exhale and flopping her arms over the bed, bouncing herself slightly before cringed her eyes up at the ceiling as if in sudden thought. "So where do you keep the bad-boy suit of yours anyways?"

"Terra!" X hissed, eyes narrowing as he stood up and slammed his door shut to keep unwanted ears from hearing what the blond was sure to squeal about.

"I mean really," Terra sat up, laughing as she hugged her shoulders up to her cheeks. "Do you keep it in a shoebox under your bed?" She laughed loudly, her voice bouncing off the walls and echoing. But when he didn't reply, Terra stopped, and quirked a brow up towards Red X's thin and muscled figure. They stared at each other for a moment, Terra frowning in suspicion before in a quick dart of movement she vaulted herself over the side farthest side from X and threw the bed sheets up and stretched her arms under the bed.

"GET OUT OF THERE!" Red X cried, dashing forward and throwing himself on the bed belly down. Terra lout of a cry of distress as the springs came down on her but she yanked a rather large box out from under the bed and scooted herself back. Before X could cry out any more, Terra threw the lid off and stared in bewilderment when the suit, skull mask up on top, stared back at her.

"Oh my God, YOU DO KEEP IT IN A SHOEBOX!" She cried, looking up at him, and pointing a finger at him.

"Give me that!" Red X hissed, slashing a hand out towards her like a cat towards a mouse. But the brave little blond mouse swung it back away from him and stuck her tongue out.

"Most teenaged dudes, keep playboy mags in shoeboxes under their bed." She laughed, before tossing the suit out of the box and going through it.

"Stop that!" Red X hissed, looking over his shoulder in fear someone would walk in before he made another snatch towards Terra. "There are bombs in there, you idiot!" He cried in a low and hoarse voice.

"Yeah yeah, bombs, and knives," Terra rolled her eyes, before she stopped, eyes going wide as she paused her rummage. "And boobs, WHAT THE HELL AHAHAHA YOU DO HAVE PLAYBOY MAGS IN HERE!"

"GIVE ME THAT NOW!" Red X cried, vaulting himself from the bed and making an attempt to tackle Terra away from his…. Stuff.

Terra rolled away from him; luckily she had changed into her regular cut off jean shorts before coming over, so the stupid school-skirt didn't get in the way. She hadn't bothered to change out of her school shirt though, with the two top buttons un-snapped, but it looked almost punk which is why she kept it. She hugged the box close, ignoring the miscellaneous red x items that were being tossed around the room with her movement.

Red X stood up and franticly tried to gather all of the fallen items, tugging on one of his gloves so he could deactivate some of the knives that had out-stretched before stuffing them back into the belt that had also been tossed around.

"Stop it before someone comes in!" He cried quietly, snaking his head towards her as if Terra was prey. Well, she was about to be a victim anyways.

"What the..." Terra paused, her face losing its laughing demeanor as she pulled out a 'playgirl' magazine from the bottom of the pile. She looked at it, then back at X, and then doubled the movement a few times before staring at X with a gaped mouth.

"What the hell is that doing in there?!" X asked, his face getting an equally surprised look. "I swear I don't know where that came from." Really… where the heck did it come from?

"Oh…. "

"Terra."

"My…."

"Terra don't even, I know what you're thinking and-"

"FREAKING GOD, YOU'RE GAY!"

"WHAT?!" Red X cried loudly, dropping his belt and let it clink against his thinly carpeted floor. "I AM NOT GAY!"

"You have a play_girl_ magazine in here!" She cried loudly, standing up and waving the disturbing paper images around in the air. "That is sick dude." Terra's eyes where as wide as tire wheels, because… well normally they were already the size of dinner plates.

"_What?_!" X cried again.

Terra paused then, holding the magazine in front of her as she looked at it, chin tilted down her eyes glanced up at X a few times before a wicked little grin grew on her face. Red X blinked, his mouth falling open in fear as he stared at her darkened expression.

"Well… I guess its fine." She shrugged, keeping the magazine close to her as she pretended to flip the pages and pay attention, eyes closed as a small frown was on her tilted face in a quiet look.

"…what now?"

"If you were gay, I mean." Terra looked up at X sincerely. Grinning suddenly, she opened her mouth wide and an expression that would strike fear into the dark swell of the devil grew over her face like the plague. "I'd like you annnnyways."

"Don't you dare-"

But Terra was laughing the song out already, waving the magazine in the air as she taunted him. "Because you see, if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay. BUT I'M NOT GAY, like you."

"THAT'S IT!" Red X screamed, throwing himself forward and tackling Terra headlong, making her let out a loud scream before grunting as pinned her to the bed. "SHUT UP!" He demanded.

"IF YOU WERE QUEER!!"

"SHUT UP!" Red X yelled louder, throwing all his body weight on her, making Terra cry out and then try to vainly get out of from under him.

"Gah, you're a fat gay!"

"I AM NOT-"

"I'D STILL BE HERE!!!" Terra interrupted, and then yelped at Red X landed a punch to her shoulder, but she rolled around and bit his arm, making him retreat a little as she continued;

"THOUGH WHAT SHOULD IT MATTER TO ME WHAT YOU DO IN BED WITH GUYS?!!"

"That is freaking disgusting, Terra!!" Red X yelled, pulling out a good red x from the glove he still had on. "Knock it off before I rip you're throat out!!"

"IF YOU WERE GAY ID SHOUT HOORAY!!" Terra paused, eyeing the weapon, before grinning again as she looked up at X. "_HOORAY_!"

"THAT IS SO IT!!" Red X moved to slap the gooey patch at Terra's mouth. She squeaked and quickly rolled to the side, her legs kicking up under X as she threw him to the side- which landed him off the foot of the bed with a loud _THUMP._

Terra stood up on the bed, bouncing a few times as her socked feet as her hands danced out around her while she glared down at him with what could have been malice. "YOU CAN COUNT ON ME, TO ALWAYS BE, BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY, TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY, YOU WERE JUST BORN THAT WAY!"

"I AM NOT GAY!" Red X shouted, throwing his palm out as another gooey x patch went shooting towards her.

Terra yelped and ducked down then quickly scooped her hand down and grapping the red X mask. She pulled it over her head and stood back up, jumping on his bed, chanting more verses of the song even as the mask diluted her voice a little. "AND I KNOW THAT YOU, WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO, IF I TOLD YOU TODAY, 'HEY GUESS WHAT I'M GAY! But _I'm_ not gay."

"Like hell I would! You nasty perv!" Red X then let out a loud yell of frustration as he bent himself down before shooting towards her, jumping over the railing on the foot of the bed and tackling Terra again, pushing her down firmly into the mattress so that she sunk down.

"Oh my God you weigh a ton!" She cried with her eyes jammed tight as she attempted to move her hands, but X had them pinned.

"Give me that back!!" He hissed in a dark voice, one hand moving from her wrist and tugging the mask back off her head. "And leave my suit alone!"

"Technically, it's Robin's." She snorted, glaring up at him even as her blonde hair now frizzled around her head from the friction in the mask. "You're so creepy you stole his suit, probably sniffed his underwear too-"

"THAT IS SO NASTY!" Red X yelled, glaring down at her as she cringed at his weight then struggled to get out from under him.

"Hey get off me!" She snapped.

"Not until I decapitate your mouth off!"

"EWW!" She screamed, stretching her neck up and her face away from him.

When the bedroom door was opened through, both teenagers looked over and blinked, their faces going blank. Their faces couldn't match X's adoptive father's expression though as he stared at them. They had both been screaming and yelling pretty loud, it was most likely what had attracted the man to inspect the scene. Red X was still pinning Terra down roughly on the bed, playboy magazine's scattered, red goo patches on the wall and one on the bed from missed fires, luckily the suit had only been tossed behind the bed, so they were out of sight.

Terra's hair was ruffled, and messed up to the point where it was sticking out in every other direction her body was tensed and neck arched as far from him as she could, while X's face was almost as red as the x's on his suit. He still gripped his mask in his hand, but only the black hood of it showed, and he was wearing the glove, though it was on the inside, so that too was hidden. Not to mention they where breathing hard from Terra pretending to be suffocated while screaming out the verses to the song, and X from just being flustered at her successful attempts to annoy the holy crap out of him.

"Do I_ want_ to know?" The man asked simply.

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LOL... well.... uh... -scratches head- That was random. My sister and I came up with this idea out of like no where. We we're joking about where Red X would hide his suit, then about what else he might put in his secret box, then what worse things could be in there without his knowledge, and then "What if Terra came in?" yeah random. But, it made for fun writing xDD I really did have fun with this, and might even add other one-shots onto it as a mini humor seiries. I know it doesn't have a good background, but it was for humor, and I don't put a lot of brain power into humor xD That would waist the fun.

Special thanks to **TFStriker** who also helped give me the idea :)


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